My Weakness Day

I'm home..dalam erti kata yang sebenar.. I moved out of hostel on Friday night, bout the same time as Hanaa and Muhaimin.. the moving out day was even more tiring and stressful than I imagined.. a very long list of thing-to-pack sticking on my mind all day long.. it was a tough day for me, especially when the left part of my head keep on berdenyut like crazy since evening.. painful, very.. yet, the packing up had to go on.. and at the final stage of the day, around 9pm, with kepala yang masih berdenyut tanpa henti, I started to lose myself.. I got very emotional+angry bout some situation that was happening at that time.. and when I get really angry/upset bout someone/something, the only thing I'll do is to lock myself in a room and cry as if it's nobody's business and try to act as cool as possible once the tears have dried..(or if there's no room available for me, I'll just switch to my silent mode and be alone for a while).. so that's what I did.. and it's been long since I did that.. I felt calmer after that.. but regret.. not regret bout the locking up and crying thingy(because that's the way I do to avoid other people from becoming my yelling victim,as well as lifeless thing from flying in the air without their desire) but regret for.....slamming the door! yes, I intentionally slammed the door before i locked it! and I regret it,very.. cause I felt soooo weak and soooo stupid, as a result! Weak because kekuatan yang sebenar adalah pada keupayaan seseorang itu mengawal dirinya ketika marah.. and stupid because the door was so very innocent! Nobody and nothing should be the victim of my anger.. not a single alive/dead thing! pity door.. and yes, I'm the one who should control my anger (who else would??).. and if I get the chance to talk bout the reasons why i got angry with the person that has caused it (lucky enough) and clear up the cloud, i should talk bout it coolly..

so again, I should.......No, I MUST CONTROL MY ANGER!