There are times when I look into myself and I find nothing. There are times when I look around me and I see nobody. There are times when I feel so empty.
Yes, I smile. I laugh. I chat. I nag. I sleep. I eat. Living up my routine with the people of my life. They love me, I love them, we talk, we have fun when we have the chance. But when the night arrives, there'll come a time when I just need to cry and cry. The feelings, the pain, the loneliness. Sometimes I wish I could share them with someone. But then I realized sometimes, it's better to keep everything to myself, and Him. He knows everything, everything that I'm feeling, every single thing that I'm hiding behind these smiles I'm faking. To Him I beg, I cry, I ask.
When will I find the true happiness? When will I stop crying over things that are hard to be explained? How long do I have to go through all this?
No answers yet.
All I see was a piece of sticky note with just a single word on it. Simple yet powerful word that has been keeping me strong all this while. That is, "SABAR". And I gained a little strength.
Keep on reminding myself, there's no giving up in life. I won't let myself give up no matter how hard, how heavy, how painful, how daunting the tests are, I won't stop praying hoping to find the happiness I've been longing for. Believe there'll be a light at the end of this tunnel. I just have to keep walking and I know I'm not walking alone. He is and will always be with me.